Crack(s) CAN kill...

"I will tell you (about me) in this ere' blogger, one paragraph at a time..."

At this moment, my compulsions are towards conversations. And this conversation I will never forget. Trust me, there's humor in it. Somewhere...

It was November, 2004. We reached Fallujah and ended up in the mansion. The Staff Sergeant (SSgt) says, "Here's the sat-phone. Get in line, call your families. Tell em' you're alive. Done in 5." The Marine Corps way was always geared towards "Troops First" which meant lowest ranking gets priority then up. If I recall correctly, that's how it occured that day. As a Navy Corpsman (and FNG), I got my phone call along with the E-3's. We were on the roof during this time. The reception was not gathering much of a signal. We had to take a step up near a diagonal section on the corner of the wall. Those extra 5 inches of height just helped that much more for the sake of a signal. As it reached my turn, I followed suit...

(Ring)
B(Ex-Wife): Hello?
F(Me): Hi.
B: (Indistinct crying and in combination with expletives)
F: Wait, I don't have a lot of time.
B: (More indistinct expletives and colorful language)
F: Umm... Timeout. I only have 5 minutes. I want to tell you I'm alive and...

CRACK
CRACK
CRACK
CRACK

I felt concrete hitting my face, I turned around and saw everyone face down on the floor. Paulie looks up and says, "Hey boot, you may wanna duck..." and I replied with, "Oh yea, thanks."

I thought to myself, "Welcome to Iraq." An hour later, my SSgt asks...

SSgt: Who was on the phone?
F: Me SSgt.
SSgt: Call your family to tell them you're safe.
F: I'd rather not.
SSgt: Why not?
F: We were arguing.
SSgt: Just call. It's a direct order.
F: Roger that.
(Calls...Rings...)

B: Hello?
F: Hi.
B: WHY THE F*** DID YOU HANG UP!?!?!?!

Palm ----> face = palmface.

**This is not intended to ridicule my ex-wife. She had her own trials as a military wife with her own set of concerns during this time as much as I had mine. I hope you do see the same humor that I see in it now.